About SS Grotesque

I'm Stephen Simsich and I was born October 26, 1967. Thats was the end of the Summer Of Love, and I'm not actually Bolshevik,....albeit i sure like the hats and beards. I am Yugoslavian by name and Danish on my Mothers end and I grew up in comfort, support and never wanted for a thing. I've always been looking for unexposed beauty in the shadows. I never had a choice, it was always there. "How are people not seeing this?" Will i embrace it, or flee? Ive embraced this peculiar mess of My Mind. No line on paper exists without the surrounding negative space, ignoring the shadows limits the soul and I want to share what my mind has been trying to scare me with since the age of 4yo, when I recieved my anatomically correct, fully, hand painted organs and blood vessels which I watched my father prepare at the kitchen table,...The Visible Man Model with articulated skeleton and removable internal parts. I was THAT kid. I Asked for THAT Model and I l Loved that statue of life. I saw life and others saw Zombie nonsense and i never...ok...'Fit In."  I was never afforded the ability to ignore the dark areas of life, they give all the depth to the light we thrive in. I hope you see what I see, beyond the nightmare it may have been, these are friends who all exist only to me(not in a crazy sense....well,....i think..). See if they can inspire some healthy discovery of that part of yourself dying to express itself and torturing you in the process. 

Founded in 2023, SS Grotesque is a collection of the personal, artistic expressions of a darker mind. The mind of a (somewhat...) mentally troubled man who spent 20 years drawing on clipboards while tending to and entertaining acutely mentally ill adults. OCD is like "Living In A Neighborhood where Nobody really like's you and Everything is worth a Million Dollars."-SS. They became his wisdom AND his allies, just because they understand him like he does them. I felt like I was working within a system of people who have NO IDEA what it is to be the very ones they're helping. I drew most of the newer, detailed, grotesque work while sitting with sleeping mental patients. They were on printer paper on a standard clipboard. These images are organic to me, and I'm not terribly interested in critique. I wouldn't have done it your way; these are MINE to share. These are honest and have been hidden in folders, collecting dust for as long as 30 years. They start with a line, but are absolutely uncertain from there, and that, to me, is art. It needs no critique. Plus, I really don't give a shit. I'm from a 70's-80's Punk Rock experience, so if you have negative critique, stuff it deep down inside and see if something grows there someday. The Graphics of 70's 80's punk rock made me an addict of this mysterious, travelling Brood of Dischord throughout Salt Lake. I'm a musician and immediately began writing and performing music. In 1986, after a Deadly Staph Infection/Toxic Shock in 9th grade and 3 years of High School, I was stricken by a massive nervous breakdown, which, all but killed me in a short time. The thoughts came and I thought i was a monster overnight. I stayed drunk for 6 years because I felt if I didn't, I would just end it. I quit drinking... 31 years ago, got married, had kids, wrote a children's book named "JIM, THE HEAVY CAT" and I tried to 'fall in line' with the boring world I felt smothered by. I ENJOYED IT!! My Book was picked up for publication and my wife and I got along famously, our boys Keaton and Duncan RULE my World Of Awesome. Prior to our first Son's conception (10 years past the fact), I would be diagnosed with a serious case of Obsessive Compusive Disorder (well before the book). I promise you don't really know what that is unless you have it. Intrusive thoughts of losing control and violating whatever i held dearest as an ideal, slowly destroying self-esteem, confidence, and whatever good I could see so easily before. My head space was constantly performing mental rituals and inventing broken mechanisms to fix the thoughts, so I didn't personalize them. Mainly internal OCD sufferers have the darkest of obsessions, so dark, many of mine will NEVER be voiced and they shouldn't. (Therapeutically they should. I'll be clear there.) BUT, They're Bullshit, they're nonsense, they are background noise we all get, but I deeply personalize the worst of the worst and question my Morals, Principles and Most Personal Values and Integrity.  They have run my LIFE for the last 35 years, and, Well, I caught some of it with drawings and realized, "This Shit Can't Kill Me Or Anyone Else". I found an OCD specialist only 3 years ago... I've been since, slowly waking to the self that thrived before that awful Fall of '86. It still takes it out of me every day, but i fear it less. Let this be a call to anyone who senses trouble in a friend or loved one OR THEMSELVES. I didn't open up because I felt I'd be locked up and marked for life. It took 10 fucking years until a psychiatrist would nail it down... Even basic counselors and many therapists have NO grasp of the real essence of OCD. It really isn't about hand washing and neatness.... trust me. This discounts anything I've experienced, and I have a profound version of it. Never quit on those who need you to see what nobody else wants to. Vulnerability Of the Human Introvert. This is NOT a platform for OCD, but anyone who has it, just found a special connection with me... And they know it. I love you and I hope i can reach you all. 

I Thank you all for even looking!... (I still don't know if anyone will like this and I'm unable to believe, without reservation, anyone but myself will want to look. I will never be sure of anything I think, ever again, and it took 35 years to learn that. I think tha's the best way for you to relate. This is sometimes refered to as "The Doubting Disease" .... So, If you're "A Little OCD Sometimes",.... Spare me, and a host of suffererers who have been forced to befriend their Darkest Nightmares and pretty much ignore whether the fucking house is spotless. 

I'm drawing again and digging deep into the world in my head which I would either befriend or be commanded by. I see these as direct looks into me, into the nature of a Dark World, lending its depth to the bright images we all rely on to face the day. God Bless Man's Creation.

My Gallery is an online view into the art I've created and items I've acquired through collecting. There will be BUYING OPTIONS at a certain point. I will work 'print to order' and present something to you that makes me proud before you see it. Always know it intend a sense of whimsy in the work. I think it's why it is what it is. I've developed a deviously gloomy sense of humor over the years of Thought Juggling. Enjoy this stuff, it's completely organic and unmodeled, over-spill of things I can't seem to help thinking about. Energy can never die, and there is plenty here for you to see. I'm never sure anything I do is good, but these speak, these have life behind the eyes for me. They haunted me, then they helped me. I guess that's fair enough.  Prints will typically be in a 16x20" format. It's the size I first really saw my work as more than a 'parlor trick.'  I only post those which enlarge well. Some are just not available to re-scan. I was moved by my own work when I recently blew up a few finished drawings, sat back and realized how much of a raw deal I've been giving myself. Smaller prints I want to avoid. Not saying t-shirt design isn't possible with some pieces. Enjoy what I have tamed living in a constant and complete state of doubt, guilt and fear.